i am a voter.

i feel different after voting. that sounds really, really cliche, but it's true. i never thought about how important it was or how much of an impact one person really can have.

i recently got into a car accident, and also am currently struggling with school, while having no money and i just turned 18. and i always thought i was okay, that i was just fine with the way i was but God is revealing more and more of who i really am inside. it's really ugly, i mean, really uncomfortable and hurtful to see these ways and these desires that were always hidden. people see me as a little nice christian girl and fail to see me as a person.

and i realize that what i've been praying for is the very thing that i don't want to see. that's why God is showing me little by little everyday ... it takes so much strength and perseverance to become the woman of God i want to be. and the problem is that we all want life to be easy, to be comfortable .... to be effortless. but if loving were easy, it wouldn't be love.

i'm very tired and sick of the way i can be sometimes. two sides of me are at war right now ... and it seems endless. but someone told me that before every victory, there is a battle ...

God is telling me to step up.

that's exactly what i'm going to do.