my thoughts at 3 AM.

why am i awake at this time? well, you see, i had this dream, my best friend was asking me all these questions about being a christian. my dreams never ever ever make any sense, and some of the questions were somewhat nonsense, while others really made me think. "can you tell me what you really believe, (kind of like don't beat around the bush anymore i guess) because i want to know how many times i should pray my rosary?" (she used to be catholic) "do you think i'm wrong if i do this?" and "how good or bad of a christian do you think i am?" i gave her answers in my dreams, but the last question must have really hit me or something because i woke up because of it.

i didn't have any problem waking up. it's like this full burst of energy took over my body, and i began having a whole train of thoughts. and i thought, "oh man, better type this stuff down in my blogger." lol.

when she asked me the rosary question, i thought it didn't make any sense at all. but as i kept on looking at it, i thought that that's the way that a lot of people look at God. they still think it's necessary to do a certain prayer however many times a day or do so-and-so a set number on these specific days. take a second look -- that's not what God is about. i don't believe God will smite you for not saying your rosary however many times you're supposed to say it. the thing i really love about God is that you don't have to repeat the same thing to Him everyday. you can say everything and anything, or simply say nothing - i mean, He knows what's going on in your head, He doesn't want to hear the exact same words everyday.

"do you think i'm wrong if i do this?" ... i started thinking about judging. how some people say "oh, i never judge." and "it is wrong to judge." but i think .... the thing is that we all judge, and it's something that we can't exactly run away from. let's say you and a friend are sitting on a bench, people-watching, and your friend makes a comment that this person is so-and-so because of the clothes he wears. you say "don't judge!" but, aren't you judging someone for judging someone else? and if you ask someone if murdering is good, i doubt you will find someone who will say yes. i believe that we can't stop moral judgements. we have a right to believe what is right and what is wrong. because, ya know, there's a good and bad in this world.

"how good or bad of a christian do you think i am?" i was going to say "oh, well i can't judge you" but that's weak, something everyone would say, and i don't know if i exactly believe it. as time went on, lying in my bed, staring at the blank ceiling, i wondered whether or not we really should be judging each other. if someone does something bad or wrong, i should tell them, right?

for some reason, something more important hit me - we are so busy comparing ourselves to others. what clothes we wear, how we style our hair, (now i see where we get the idea of "beauty")-- even our ideas of faith and living for Christ. we even hold up movie stars because they are so "beautiful" by the world's standards, that we forget where true beauty comes from. by comparing, we're so worked up about what we don 't have, that we don't realize what we do have. we're so focused on what other people think that we forget about what God thinks.

we shouldn't look to others to see who's a better christian or a better person. don't compare with each other, but rather compare yourself with Scripture.

kuya says there are immoral people who claim to follow Christ while there are good people who don't claim to have Christ. i believe to be good or to be bad is one thing; but to give your life to Christ is another.

... i like the thoughts that sprout from dreams.